Sometimes fear masquerades itself as wisdom; it invades your senses and makes you believe that the well you are drawing from is one of needed caution. Fear chains growth mindsets. Fear allows a breakdown of kingdom order and shuts out the voice of discernment - and gives full credit to doubt. Fear will take over the driver's seat of your spiritual car, dictate when you stop and when you accelerate, isolate you from the path others are on, and drive away into the sunset of dark oblivion. Like a billow of smoke, it rolls up the body and seeps into my ears, eyes, mouth, and takes over thoughts, impulses, reactions, and creates a plethora of questions. Fear does not present itself for the ugliness that it is, but as pacification, a covering, a warmth of seeming truths, and a comfortable groove or routine. It can feel like home. Fear is a hiding place, a den of bumps, bruises and cuts.
" Fear is the scar of remembrance, a flesh wound we never bandage adequately enough to heal; a scab we constantly pick at and showcase the bleed once it runs yet again. "
Fear is a friend, a foe, a mother and father, or an orphan. Fear is the paper doll outfits I take on and off the doll I choose to be in a given moment. Fear unchecked can lead to anxiety, panic, and eventually my reason to stay in the passenger seat of disillusionment, denial, disappointment, and resentment. Fear is my frequent purchase on Amazon Prime, the most recently played songs on my Spotify, and the very thing I serve up in my morning smoothie- EVERYDAY. I invite fear to the table, and offer to keep its plate warm with the food I keep supplying it, and feel so empty doing in the process. Fear keeps me bound up, locked down, in tangles, and constantly overcompensating. Fear circles around the mountain one more time, when TRUTH opens the exit for advancement. Fear seat belts us in the position to stay in the past, when the Father is calling us out on the waters of the future. Fear is possessive, manipulative, selfish, and breeds on offense. Fear is septic and it's Gangrene. Fear looks like blame; it's easier to blame everyone for what they didn't do, and not accept what I keep doing. Fear can lead to me believing that I was the victim and entice me to make permanent choices for a temporary wrong mindset.
In the last few months, I have been made aware of how the fish hooks of fear have embedded themselves in my heart. It is pretty amazing how we can speak from a place of fear, and allow lies to be the pillars of the argument we build against truth. If we are not careful, fear could win. And what is even worse- the dreams God has placed in us to do will be thwarted not by the enemy, but by our own impatience with the time table of God's bigger plan. It is our choice to allow fear to paralyze us or propel us into the next season.
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